Emma Pattinson Photography

I believe that this affinity for neon and its atmosphere stems from the aesthetic and feeling that the directors of Riverdale always aim to portray in the show. The mystery and drama, the secrets and lies. The tenacity of some of the characters in it as well, is only backed up by the emotion and depth that is created by the lighting used in certain scenes. This is definitely a technique that I will use in my series.

Looking at imagery for my photos, I stumbled upon some portraits using neon lighting, or lights with red and blue tints in. This made me feel connected to the photos, for some reason the aura and atmosphere gives the air of truth, or at least the underlying, almost promiscuous, nature of not only the photos itself but the person in the image. I think if you were to take a photo of the same person in ambient lighting and then again next to a pink or red neon light, the feeling of it would be entirely different. Somehow the photos feel more truthful, because it looks to be an image baring the models soul. The sensuality of it creates the feeling of secrecy and intimacy.

Over the past few months I have been thinking a lot about my identity and who I am, and accepting borderline personality disorder as a part of me, rather than thinking about it as a separate entity. There is peace in embracing it. However, part of the disorder is consistently not knowing who I am; not being able to identify individual parts of my personality as my own and as permanent. Deciding to do my photographic project based around the idea of identity and personas gives me a really solid basis for a project I'm not only passionate about but am living. I think for this reason I will do a large series, however I am unsure as of yet how I am going to portray the unsteady ground I walk on. I just know that I want it to be a powerful message.

A trip into London for work training had me staring at the intricacy of a sculpture placed at the entrance to St Pancras train station. 'The Meeting Place' was put up in 2007 and edited again the year after to show more 'meeting places.' Most people take different messages from it, my colleague drawing the images from the world war and relating it to the pain of love lost from those aggressive times. Whereas I see different perspective int it, each tiny figure carved into the base of the statue has eyes that are so carefully aimed, and piercing. It gave me a new idea on meanings and underlying messages. Which gave me a new direction for my dissertation, guiding me into a new place. After having my break from education and realising that the strongest direction for my photography would be to investigate identity, looking at this statue helped me look in the direction of personal meaning and underlying undertones of messages created by the artists that create their piec

Heading in to town the other day, I decided to take my camera with me having just bought a polarising filter for my beautiful 45mm lens. Sitting at the bus stop waiting for the mundane feeling of handing over my change for a single fair, I had about a 15 minute period to chill out. After tilting my head back in exasperation at the wait I was about to undertake, I thought wow, trees are cool as hell, looking up the branches and greenness of the new sprung leaves on the overhanding arms of this tree reaching over the bench I was sat on with my house mate. Once home, I wen to edit these photos, and I can't decide on black and white or colour, the tale that never seems to end in the world of photography. Potential to use these photos on the website I had just created however was high, and taking into consideration the theme of which I used, baring in mind I am a fantasy photographer, the dilemma of black and white or colour was ever persistent.

So, after taking a personal break from university, work and all things stress, I have decided to take the  dive back into the deep, dark world of education. Due to unfortunate circumstances, my deadlines and presentations have been extended, meaning my graduation has been put off for another year. This is a small sacrifice to take as consequence. Not only have I started writing my dissertation and creating my website, but I have been taking my camera out when leaving the house. This is an attempt to get myself back into the habit of not feeling overwhelmed by my career, its never ending hours and the pit of a 6000 word dissertation I not only have to write, but also decide the concept and content. So hey, here's to the next year of my life and working hard to get myself together. Cheers.